Easy recipe for Self-love
Walking through town, there are so many surfaces you can see your reflection in. And oh, do I remember the days, when I used to catch a glimpse of myself and be shocked. Is that what I really look like? When I spent those two hours in front of the mirror in the morning I looked freakin’ perfect! Why does the dress suddenly not sit right anymore? And did I put on my makeup in the dark? Better stop and fix the mess, until I realize that there is people sitting behind that window, having a good ol’ laugh at me using the window of a coffee shop as a mirror to fix my look. Ah yes, the good ol’ days. Indeed, that was me only a few years ago.
Now when I catch my reflection, I smile at myself. I tell myself I love you and aren’t you beautiful today, just as every other day! I don’t wear makeup anymore, except for when I really feel like “dressing up”, which happens about once every couple of months. I wear clothes that are comfortable to me – colour coordination and proper accessorizing? I couldn’t give less of a fuck. I don’t shave my legs anymore, unless I feel like it. And I go to the gym with unshaved legs and wear dresses. And all of this is the result of a beautiful journey I went on a while ago; I learned to love and accept myself, just the way I am.
Now, I am not saying that wearing makeup or shaving legs, or dressing up is bad. But in my case I wasn’t doing it for myself and because I liked it, but because I was seeking the acceptance and appreciation of other people.
You see, many years ago my self-esteem was non-existent. I hated myself, the way I looked, my stupid hair, me being overweight, my height and the sheer ugliness that was me. I would spend hours trying to make myself look nice, not for myself but to get acknowledgement and appreciation from other people. Most of the clothes I wore were really uncomfortable and the compliments I would get didn’t make up for my depression.
Until one day I came across the concept of self-love and acceptance. It took some time, and many recipes went through a trial and error process, but finally I emerged on the other side with an incomparable feeling of freedom. Because that is what true self-love and acceptance is: freedom.
Now, without any further ado, put your aprons on, ladies and gentlemen, and let’s get cookin’.
Recipe for Self-love
Being your true self
First take your perception of who you are and with the help of not giving a fuck, peel back any bullshit from society, what other people might think about you, labels, stereotypes, etc. Caution: This process may take a while and you might get your hands dirty. Also, be careful in the way you use your not giving a fuck to not cut yourself.
Next take apart your perception of self and break it down into smaller parts. Take a look at each part of you and get to know yourself. If this is the first time you are doing this, you might get emotional. Don’t worry, that’s completely normal.
Cover the parts of your perception of self with honesty and let it boil for a while. Again, this process may take a while, especially if you are doing it for the first time. Be patient and keep an eye on the process.
Once this process is finished, honesty will have eliminated any residue of perception, that are not true to yourself, and you can then simply strain your parts of self. At this stage, it is really easy to take these new parts of your true self, mash them together and form the new you.
Add a pinch of doing something kind for yourself (I personally use this every day and can highly recommend it), a bit of expressing your truth (caution, this ingredient can lead to you saying no to things you really don’t want to do) and a bit of gratitude for who you are and what you have.
Work on yourself
Now let’s move on to the second part of our recipe: the work on yourself. There are many different variations to this recipe and they can all work. You just have to find the ones that are most delicious to you. The following variation is one of my personal favourites:
Take parts of yourself you wish to work on. First wash off any self-criticism, negativity and doubt about yourself.
Then take a really close look on the inside and see how rich your life was and is, full with seeds of love, friendship, knowledge, experience and talent. But also filled with challenges and lessons. Take them piece by piece, appreciating the journey, loving each piece, being grateful for each lesson and each challenge that caused you to expand. Know that all of your life is filled with limitless seeds of potential, and it is down to you what you are going to do with them. All you will ever have to do is take the next piece. One piece at a time, you can heal, grow, develop and take on any challenges.
Again, add a pinch of doing something kind for yourself and (one of my personal favourites) words of appreciation for yourself and your life.
And now for the third part of our recipe for self-love: follow joy
This is the most simple one. Again, there are many variations to this, but today I am going to do a really simple version of it:
Take a hand full of things that bring you joy, cover them with honesty and bring to a boil, removing any doubt or fear about them. Once done, simply pick and choose.
And that’s it! A simple, yet delicious recipe for self-love. It is important to note, that preparing this recipe once is not sufficient for the rest of your life (well, in most cases it isn’t). Just as you need to nurture your body with food, you need to nurture your mind and soul with love, joy and appreciation.
I hope you enjoyed this recipe. If you tried it out, please leave comments below and let me know how it turned out for you.
Until the next time.